Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
its liver damage thursday
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
