**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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