I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
