I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
