"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
