is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
