Nicole vs. Life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Still dying that you shit outside
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
