I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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