I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
