I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
