i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
