That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So apparently I’m into choking now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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