y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
