she looked like the bat from fern gully.
barbara walters just said penis...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Can I color on your dick again?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
