Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
