I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
