Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
