You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
should my penis look like a turkey
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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