We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
