so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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