she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
