she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
