did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ttyl tear gas
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
