i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
