I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
