I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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