you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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