we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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