Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am one with the molecules
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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