saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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