Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize