put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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