No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
