As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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