Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
