My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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