Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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