He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
