You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
