You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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