I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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