Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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