just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
