OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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