Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
