That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
