tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
