You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
