I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
