Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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