I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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