another moral hangover. fuck.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
