i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
