You really coming over, don't trick.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
