Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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