How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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