that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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