4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
