Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
